Home » Slice of life advice: ‘My friend has started to light up in my house, how do I let her know it’s not ok?’

Slice of life advice: ‘My friend has started to light up in my house, how do I let her know it’s not ok?’

Dear Slice of Life,

Recently, I’ve found myself in a difficult situation. My friend has started to light up cigarettes in my house without asking for my permission. This is something that has been bothering me for a while but I’m not sure how to approach this issue without damaging our friendship.

I understand that she might be going through stressful times and smoking might be her way of dealing with it. But, it’s making me uncomfortable and I’m worried about the health risks of secondhand smoke.

Any advice on how to let her know it’s not OK without hurting her feelings would be greatly appreciated.

Yours worried,

Anxious Homeowner

Slice of life advice: 'My friend has started to light up in my house, how do I let her know it's not ok?'
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Dear Anxious Homeowner,

I can sense your concern and it is absolutely valid. It’s never easy to navigate the waters of conflict, especially when a friendship is at stake.

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Firstly, I’d like to commend you on your understanding. Acknowledging that your friend might be going through a stressful period and that smoking could be her coping mechanism shows great empathy. However, your comfort and health should not be compromised.

Communication is key. Be open about your feelings but remember to approach the conversation in a non-confrontational manner. You might say something like, I’ve noticed you’ve been smoking in my house. I understand if you’re going through a tough time, but I’m uncomfortable with it because of the health risks associated with secondhand smoke. I would appreciate it if you could respect this boundary.

It’s important to use I statements to express your feelings. This way, you’re not blaming or criticizing your friend, you’re simply expressing your own feelings and concerns.

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Remember, it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. Maintain a calm and friendly tone throughout the conversation. Your friend is more likely to be receptive to your feelings if you show them respect and understanding.

It’s essential to be constructive in your conversation. Provide alternatives if possible. Maybe suggest a smoking area outside your house, or recommend some stress-relief techniques if you feel comfortable doing so.

You have the right to set boundaries in your own home. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but standing up for your comfort and health is important.

Remember, a true friend will understand and respect your feelings. If there are hurt feelings initially, give it time. Allow your friend to process the information and respond.

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Always remember, you are not alone in this. Many people face similar situations and successfully manage to resolve them in a respectful manner.

I hope this « Slice of life » proves useful and do keep coming back for more soon !

Wishing you all the best,

Slice of Life

Katrina E. Shuman
Written by, Katrina E. Shuman
With an unquenchable thirst for unraveling the secrets of the cosmos, Katrina is the guiding star behind our astrology, numerology, and horoscope sections. Her fascination with the celestial realms is intricately woven into every word she crafts, allowing her to seamlessly bridge the gap between cosmic wisdom and everyday life.