Dear Slice of Life
I am about to get married and I overheard my in-laws are advising my fiancé that I am not ‘the one’ because I don’t cook for him!
I work and don’t have time to cook and have no interest in it.
What should I do?
Busy not cooking!
Dear Busy not Cooking,
I understand that you’re feeling worried and upset about this situation. It’s completely valid to feel this way when you’re about to embark on a new chapter of your life and face criticism from people you’re about to be closely related to.
Firstly, it’s important to remember that your worth in a relationship is not defined by your ability to cook. You have a job and responsibilities that take up your time, and it’s completely okay to not have an interest in cooking. There are many ways to contribute to a household and a relationship, and cooking is just one of them.
Your in-laws may come from a traditional mindset where women are expected to take up household chores. However, this is not a necessity in a modern relationship. You and your fiancé are the ones getting married, so your mutual understanding and respect for each other’s roles are what’s important.
Having said that, here are some steps you could take to resolve this issue:
1. Communicate with your fiancé: Have an open and honest conversation with your fiancé about what you overheard. Let him know about your feelings and concerns. It’s crucial that he’s aware of the situation and how it’s affecting you.
2. Set expectations: Discuss with your fiancé what both of your roles in the household will be. If you both agree that you won’t be doing the cooking, that’s perfectly fine. Maybe he likes cooking or maybe you both are fine with eating out or ordering in. The key is mutual understanding and agreement.
3. Address the in-laws: If you’re comfortable, have a conversation with your in-laws. Assure them that you and your fiancé have discussed the matter and have a plan that works for both of you.
Remember, it’s your life and your marriage. You have every right to define your role in it. You’re strong and capable, and I’m confident that you’ll be able to navigate through this situation.
I’m here if you need any further advice or guidance. Just remember, it’s always best to seek professional advice if the situation worsens or if you’re feeling overly anxious or stressed about it.
I hope this « Slice of life » proves useful and do keep coming back for more soon!
Wishing you all the best,
Slice of Life Advisor