Dear Slice of Life
I am an avid reader, and I love losing myself in the pages of a good book. However, my partner has been expressing frustration lately. He feels that I spend too much time with my nose buried in books and that I don’t dedicate enough time to him.
He has even gone as far as saying that I am being selfish. I am torn between my love for reading and making my partner feel valued. What should I do?
Dear Avid Reader,
First off, I want to commend you for reaching out and seeking advice on this matter. It’s clear that you value your relationship and want to do what’s best for both of you.
It’s important to recognize that your love for reading is not a negative thing. Reading is a wonderful hobby that broadens the mind, enriches the intellect, and provides a sanctuary from the stresses of daily life. It’s also your personal time, something that everyone needs and deserves.
However, in a relationship, it’s key to find a balance. Your partner’s feelings of neglect are valid and should not be dismissed. His comments about you being selfish probably stem from feeling unappreciated or sidelined, which is not a good place for anyone to be.
I have seen similar situations in the past. For instance, there was a couple, let’s call them Mark and Jane.
Jane was an avid gardener and would spend hours tending to her plants. Mark felt ignored and their relationship began to suffer. They found resolution by setting aside specific times for Jane’s gardening and for their shared activities.
It took effort from both sides, but they found a balance that worked for them.
In your case, communication is key. Talk to your partner openly about your love for reading and your need for personal time.
However, also express your willingness to dedicate more time to him. Maybe you could set aside specific times for reading and certain times for activities you both enjoy.
This way, you’re still able to indulge in your reading, but your partner feels valued too.
Remember, it’s not about giving up what you love, but about finding a balance that caters to both your needs and your partner’s. It’s perfectly possible to be an avid reader and a dedicated partner.
I hope this « Slice of life » proves useful and do keep coming back for more soon! Continue to express your feelings, listen to your partner’s concerns, and work together towards a solution. You’ve got this!